When you don't have help with your toddler's sleep in the night

It could be that you are an autonomous parent. It could be that your partner is away regularly for paid work. Or for whatever reason you're a parent or a carer who finds yourself alone with your toddler most nights. Regardless, if you are doing nights with a toddler on your own I'd like to suggest that you first look at the page on managing evenings with your toddler when you don't have help here.

Here are other ideas for managing nights when it's just you and your toddler. Our plan is to make the nights just as easy as possible, which means keeping your toddler as dialled down as possible, and making sure that her sleep pressure and body clock are in sync with yours. If you're doing nights on your own, it's particularly important to avoid excessive night waking, or to repair excessive night waking quickly, by doing a reset, if it arises.

• Consider bringing your toddler into your bed. Many parents find that sharing the bed makes nights easier, especially if you don't have help. Excessive night waking is not caused by bedsharing.

• Anyone who is caring for a small child alone at nights needs to become a self-compassion ninja! You can find out about this here.

• Knowing how to manage difficult thoughts and feelings helps build your resilience when you are exhausted and yet don't have back-up or support in the night.

• Caring for your toddler is about workability, not perfection. Compromise around a whole lot of things may become necessary, so that you get through. Caring for yourself is caring for your toddler.

• If you are in a toddler sleep emergency, please go to the It's an emergency section, starting here. Also, if you are in a sleep emergency, please have a chat with your local GP.