Start here if your baby fusses a lot when coming onto the breast, or whilst breastfeeding, or after breastfeeds
When all is going well, your breast is a superpower for dialling baby down and making the days and nights as easy as possible
I would hope for you the deep satisfaction of being able to dial your little one's nervous system down with a breastfeed (and hopefully your own nervous system too!). I hope (especially when your baby is little) that life goes in frequent little cycles like this:
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Baby dials up
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Baby comes on to the breast
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Baby dials down.
Parents often take great delight in to-and-fro communications with their baby. You might watch baby's face and little body, responding to her tiny expressions, to her little sounds and behaviours - or sometimes to her big expressions, big sounds and big behaviours!
Or you do or say something to your baby then watch for your little one's response. Growing these moments of to-and-fro interaction from birth, without a sense of pressure but just every now and then throughout the day and night, for the joy of it, helps protect your baby's emotional and mental health, life-long.
If all is going well, time at the breast, particularly in the first months of life, is a place for easy enjoyment of to-and-fro communication with your baby, as well as a time when you offer your baby the sensory motor experience of suckling and, of course, milk.
It's normal to feel very upset when your baby fusses repeatedly at the breast
It's normal to feel very upset when your breast becomes a place of distress for your baby. You are likely to hear many different reasons to explain why your baby is fussing at the breast. You might even find that every different breastfeeding support professional you see has a different explanation!
But although each health professional is passionately committed to caring for you and your baby, they are often trying to help breastfeeding families in the midst of calamitous confusion amongst health professionals about what is going on, and what might help. Receiving yet another piece of conflicting advice in itself can become very upsetting for breastfeeding women, too.
You'll especially receive a great deal of conflicting advice if your baby dials up a lot
You might be told that your baby needs to burp or has wind or gut pain due to air-swallowing. You might be told that your baby has allergy or intolerance to substances in your milk, or is refluxing acid into the oesophagus. You might be told that your baby has oral ties or torticollis or subtle cranial nerve dysfunctions and muscle tone problems. You might be told that your baby's chin is too recessed or his palate too high. You might be told that baby is picking up on your stress. Yet these diagnoses are often not relevant, evidence-based, or helpful. You can find out more, starting here.
Unfortunately, many of the diagnoses and explanations you might be given for your baby's fussing at the breast can even make things worse, or result in unnecessary treatments which cause side-effects. The truth is that on the rare occasions some of these diagnoses are genuinely relevant, they typically show up in your baby in ways that are different to fussing at the breast.
There are five common reasons why babies fuss a lot at the breast
Here are the five common reasons why babies have trouble coming onto the breast, or back arch and pull off the breast, or fuss and cry with breastfeeds.
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Baby has positional instability at the breast. You can find out about this here, and what to do to change it, starting here.
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Baby doesn't want more milk! You can find out about this here, and what to do to change it here.
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Baby needs richer sensory motor experience. You can find out about this here, and what to do to change it here.
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Baby has developmentally normal distractibility. You can find out about this here, and what to do to change things here.
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Baby has conditioned dialling up at the breast. You can find out about this and what to do here.