Things to know up front if your baby cries and fusses a lot

This page belongs to collection of short articles and videos in plain language, called When baby cries a lot in the first few months of life. Together, these articles and videos will give you a brief and simple summary of the Possums 5-domain approach to the crying baby. For comprehensive information on this topic, please consider reading The discontented little baby book.

It’s normal to feel upset and miserable yourself if your baby is crying a lot. It is also normal if your baby cries a lot to feel incredibly tired. Unfortunately parents who have a baby who is dialled up a lot of the time receive large amounts of conflicting advice.

Here are some important things to consider if you are caring for a crying baby.

• Have your baby checked over by your local doctor to make sure that there are no underlying medical conditions.

• Check in regularly with your GP, Maternal and Child health Nurse, local NDC Accredited Practitioner or other health professional.

• Ask for lots of support from family and friends (if it is available). Please reach out to them! Take the time to get breaks by yourself if you can.

• The first four months are when babies are very sensitive and tend to cry more, and also to get into crying loops. This crying period seems to go on forever, but the crying usually settles down by around 16 weeks.

• It’s normal to be upset when your baby is upset. Find some time to think about how you can look after yourself and your feelings when they come up. Can you talk to someone, take a walk, or remind yourself you are doing the best you can at a difficult time?

There are usually things that can be done to help babies cry less (although that’s not always the case). I recommend that you try experimenting with the Possums 5-domain approach, with the help of your GP, Maternal and Child Health Nurse, or local NDC Accredited Practitioner.

• You can find brief and simple summary of the Possums 5-domain approach under the Possums program called 'When baby cries a lot (brief & simple),' starting here.

• You can find a more detailed overview of the Possums 5-domain approach to helping a baby who cries a lot in the first few months of life here.

Acknowledgements

I'm grateful to Professor Sophie Havighurst, Ros June, and Caroline Ma at Mindful, The University of Melbourne, for their feedback on the articles and videos in When baby cries a lot in the first few months of life. They helped me keep the language plain and the concepts as accessible as possible, for this brief and simple version of the Possums 5-domain approach to the crying baby.

Recommended resources

The dial on your baby's nervous system

Three things to know about your brain's thinking processes after you've had a baby

Very big things like caring for a baby or toddler often come with surprising amounts of painful feelings

What is a self-compassion ninja?

Selected references

Douglas PS. Pre-emptive intervention for Autism Spectrum Disorder: theoretical foundations and clinical translation. Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience. 2019;13(66):doi.org/10.3389/fnint.2019.00066.

Douglas P, Miller Y, Bucetti A, Hill PS, Creedy D. Preliminary evaluation of a primary care intervention for cry-fuss behaviours in the first three to four months of life ("The Possums Approach"): effects on cry-fuss behaviours and maternal mood. Australian Journal of Primary Health. 2013; 18:332-338.

Douglas P. Diagnosing gastro-oesophageal reflux disease or lactose intolerance in babies who cry alot in the first few months overlooks feeding problems. J Paediatr Child Health. 2013;49(4):e252-e256.

Douglas PS, Hill PS. A neurobiological model for cry-fuss problems in the first three to four months of life. Med Hypotheses. 2013;81:816-822.

Douglas P, Mares R, Hill P. Interdisciplinary perspectives on the management of the unsettled baby: key strategies for improved outcomes. Australian Journal of Primary Health. 2012;18:332-338.

Douglas PS, Hill PS. The crying baby: what approach? Curr Opin Pediatr. 2011;23:523-529.

Douglas P, Hill P. Managing infants who cry excessively in the first few months of life. BMJ. 2011;343:d7772.

Douglas PS, Hill PS, Brodribb W. The unsettled baby: how complexity science helps. Arch Dis Child. 2011;96:793-797.

Douglas P, Hiscock H. The unsettled baby: crying out for an integrated, multidisciplinary, primary care intervention. Med J Aust. 2010;193:533-536.

Douglas PS. Crying Baby. Hecate. 2007;33(2):74-75.

Douglas PS. Excessive crying and gastro-oesophageal reflux disease in infants: misalignment of biology and culture. Med Hypotheses. 2005;64:887-898.